I was drawn to this because i like the whole idea, but i think you can improve this shot by doing the following.
crop it so the left person is further to the right , making the left side smaller and given a comparatively bigger space on the right hand side.
also straighten out horizon, or give it a real tilt, so it does not look so accidental.
do you mind if i edit this and show you what i mean?
i think you can breath life into this by giving it more space, and boosting the contrast so lady on left is more stark against the highlights in the sea.